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‘Carry On Up The Courts’ The Story of the Metric Martyrs …

Posted by:
Greg Lance – Watkins

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  Other Weight related sections
Imperial Register    Weights (Legal Opinion)

“If Steve Thoburn is found *NOT* guilty as charged then Britain’s position within the EUropean Union is untenable and Britain would have to leave”.
Ms. Sharpston 1/3/2001
Further analysis of this amazing
statement of Day 5
Government Gets Desparate
Out either way

New (18/12/01)
Carry on up the Courts
Skeleton Argument
(Metric Martyrs)

click word image to view

Carry on
up the Courts
Final Judgement
High Court London

 British Justice on Trial
Coverage of the six day farce.
(With yet more to follow)

Full Judgement of District Judge [MC] Bruce Morgan Sunderland Magistrates Court Regina vs. Thoburn

click word image to view 
Final Judgement – Guilty

Day 4 28/2/01(Preview)


Day1      Day2     Day3

PLEASE give generously to the defence
Click for more details

Day 1The trial of Steve Thoburn is taking place and was due to commence this
morning in the Magistrates Court in Sunderland. Steve is charged with the
heinous crime of providing a service to his customers to whit, as a market
trader in Sunderland, he did sell 1 lb. of bananas for 39p.

The Government has set aside 3 days in Court to try this most evil of
crimes! they have tried to rig the Court by deselecting normal procedure of
three Magistrates sitting with one of them chairing the bench and they have
parachuted in a Stipendiary Magistrate AND they are utilising Silk to lead
supported by a Barrister. Even the USSR understood the concept of ‘Crime and
Punishment’ this Government and the EU who runs them doesn’t even understand
‘appropriate use of Court time and PUBLIC money’!

Well at 10am this very morning the Court convened in Court One Sunderland
Magistrates Court.

Sad to say due to a power cut the heating in Court One didn’t work!!

SO – the entire Court reconvened in a broom cupboard known as Court Three,
well it was not much larger than a broom cupboard!

Sad to say there was an electrical fault in Court Three!

SO – the entire Court, Stipendiary Magistrate, Clerkes, Ushers, Queen’s
Councillor, Barristers, Solicitors, Defendant, witnesses, press, TV, radio
and the public et al were relocated.

SO – they all set off on foot looking for a venue!

After proceeding on foot through Sunderland City centre, with ALL the media
trooping along, placard wavers and shakers of buckets for donations to
defend the case and passing motorists ‘tooting’ in support the Court was
reconvened some 800 YARDS away at Sunderland Civic Centre.

Even members of the press and TV crews covering the ‘farce’ were making
donations to the defence fund!

Eleanor Sharpston QC gave a lack luster presentation of the prosecutions
case and bored everyone witless – however she did improve the atmosphere
when she used a ‘joke’ as a main plank of her argument namely that ‘it is
imperative that Metric measurements are introduced as Imperial measurements
are confusing and too difficult to understand’!!! To the credit of the
Stipe. he realised that he stood no chance of quelling the hilarity of the
Court on this laughable argument so he didn’t even try!

Eleanor Sharpston QC, poor lass, has the intelligence to realise that if law
is to pertain or justice is to be seen to be done or the will of the people
is to be carried out she is prosecuting a dishonest case for a dishonest
Government on behalf of the EU and will lose – she is trying her best but
with NO legitimate case her performance is stumbling, fumbling and feeble.

Michael Shrimpton as Barrister for the defence on the other hand with
British Common Law and natural Justice on his side put on a totally
different performance. He brought out points of law with great humour and
precedents with aplombe at times even managing to bring spontaneous laughter
from not just the Court but from the Prosecution team.

Day two of the Trial of British Justice will no doubt be just as much of a


Day 2Well day 2 in the Courts of Sunderland are progressing apace.

Whilst the Transport system of Britain is in collapse [more of that in a
moment], we are ripped off by the Government taxes on fuel, the NHS is
collapsing in a sea of filth with dead bodies stacked in heaps in ante
rooms, the education system threatening a four day week due to lack of
funding, defence of the realm being bared to the bone and handed over
seemingly to Foreign control, the Police so buried in paper work, lack of
staff, lack of money and PC regulations to cow toe to the EU –

WHAT is our Government doing?

WHAT are our Government’s priorities?

Well in the last session without a doubt it was dishonestly forcing through
‘New Labour’s Buggery of Minors Act’ to apease their cronies and possibly
even to avoid blackmail and exposure of their own illegal or distastefull

Then it was lies and spin about the Nice Treaty as they handed over control
of a further 39 areas of our Governance to a Foreign Power.

Now the top of the agenda of importance is FOX HUNTING!!! They are
determined to destroy rural traditions and join the Nazi Party in Germany
who are the only EUropean Union group to ever ban fox hunting!!! Meanwhile
the French, Spanish and Italians take millions of rounds of ammunition a
year to massacre sky larks, swallows, martins and other migratory birds as
they struggle over the passes of the Alps and Pyrenese.

Will the fox be any better off as a result of a ban on hunting – of course
not – they will be gassed, gut shot and trapped, poisoned and tortured
instead. This has the added danger of serious danger and cruelty to many
domestic animals. Do the Government care do they hell they are pandering to
their electors who, being primarily urban, have no understanding of the
issues of pest control in the countryside or social tradition – they would
be the very people who would destroy the Government if plans were put in
place not to kill pests in urban areas and rats were left un checked!

This Government, whilst weighty matters of catching and convicting criminals
who are responsible for the burgeoning of serious crime see fit – on behalf
of their Foreign puppet masters – to victimise a greengrocer! The Government
would have you believe that crime is falling and they are right – you are
far less likely to be a victim of crime, pick pockets, highwaymen and petty
crime but you need only to look out of your window or visit a town centre on
a Friday or Saturday night to realise you are INFINITELY more likely to be
the victim of murder, rape, assault, robbery and burglary – to be fair they
do have a much better ‘clear up rate’ for parking tickets, petty pilfering
and speeding!!

Throughout this debacle of corruption and cronyism they have never missed an
opportunity to raise or introduce a New Labour stealth tax or add to their
war chest to ensure THEY get to keep in power and keep their snouts in the
trough. Who can blame them when there is so much money to be made by
fiddling projects like The Dome and directing The Lottery towards projects
they have an interest in or ensuring their friends and family have cushy and
lucrative ‘numbers’ on QUANGOs, Boards & Trusts!!

Meanwhile they seek to victimise a greengrocer  who trades in a Market and
provides his customers with what they want in order to stay in business –
namely 1 lb. of bananas for 39p.

Yes seriously this is what the Government considers top priority and deploy
Trading Standards staff, under cover, to hunt out – a believed £150,000,000
is fiddled and lost from the Dome unaccountably and the Government’s
priority is to persecute a Market Trader. This high farce and abuse of power
runs to wasting Police time as well as Public Money.

The Government are a bit miffed as they were caught out by the efforts of
UKIP, The Mail on Sunday and others and were not able to get away with
rigging the Court by putting in their choice of Stipendiary Magistrate.
District Judge Morgan is now presiding as Stipe. in Sunderland, he is from
Shropshire and normally sits on the Birmingham Bench. No wonder Eleanor
Sharpston QC had a weak and feeble case for the prosecution stumbling
through her notes and claiming that a major reason for FORCING metric on an
unwilling public was that Imperial measurements lead to confussion and are
hard to understand – well they might be for a QC but the average housewife
has no problem with them!! Nor it seems does Sunderland who in their own
fish market sell Prawns by the Stone!!

A day, at great expense, was spent last year in the Magistrates Courts to
hear the outline case and three days at a cost of 80-90,000 Pounds was set
aside this week however Mr. Morgan has adjudged that the case can not be
completed by tomorrow [Wednesday] evening and so he has allocated a further
day on March the 1st. and undertaken to give a full written judgement of the
case on April 9th.


Day 3Well, well, well the script for this particular ‘Carry On’ just keeps

The venal criminal Steve Thoburn was forced for a further day to abandon his
Market Stall and listen to more endless expositions of ancient precedents
and high Constitutional law – as he so rightly says ‘How do you think I
feel – I’m scared shitless, I just want to be giving the service to my
customers which they want which is Pounds of bananas for 39p, I understand
that. Now I am turned into some sort of criminal and forced into a Court
with the full weight  of the Government thrown behind a Leading Queens
Councillor and supporting Barrister.’

One can understand Steve’s fear as he watches the costs for this case
mounting by around £30,000 per day and under law HE is liable for them if he
loses but this brave man’s comment to that is ‘Well its my duty’ despite the
fact that this young father of two has his home, his livelihood and his
families future on the line and at risk.

The Prosecution on the other hand has a bottomless pit of YOUR money to try
to BUY a guilty verdict against Steve.

PLEASE consider supporting Steve’s defence fund generously, he is fighting
for YOUR Rights and Freedoms, he is putting himself at risk so that YOUR
Parliament which YOU elected makes law in Britain not the corrupt,
profligate and undemocratic Foreign Power in the EU. Details of how YOU can
help Steve are at the end of this report.

Today in and around the Sunderland Court is something of a tale of butchers,
barbecues, fuel prices, 1/4 lb. Tories and 12″ Italians in The Sun.

The case of the Government banana skin whether metric or Imperial has now
been covered on Radio, TV or in the Press in Japan, America, Italy, Canada,
AUstralia, and a host of other countries including Britain [in as far as
Britain still exists!!!]

Further argument was led by Michael Shrimpton in Court today and chatting to
him on his way home from Heathrow by car just now he felt that John Morgan
presiding was giving the points of law very full and fair attention and that
Eleanor Sharpston the Queen’s Council and her team of Barristers and
solicitors were developing writer’s cramp taking notes, so that they could
follow the ACTUAL law rather than keep interjecting that law and precedent
could not be taken seriously!!

Law in this case has ranged from the British Constitution to the enactment’s
of Henry VIII, from the immunity Bill rapidly enacted to save a Home
Secretary from facing execution to the Factor Tame (sp?) fishing case more
recently. The legal legitimacy of The Treaty of Rome has also been called
into question and much to the interest of The Washington Post, Reuters, The
Sun, AP et al it is now realised that this particular banana skin is not a
simple matter of whether 1 lb. of bananas can be sold for 39p.

This case put simply is who Governs Britain?

Does Britain’s elected Parliament Govern Britain or is Britain now Governed
by a Foreign and alien Power to which the corrupt, profligate and
undemocratic EUropean Union?

Alan Duncan from the front benches of The Conservative Party was in Court
today lending support to the Defence and Steve Thoburn and few are closer to
William Hague than Alan Duncan! There is little doubt where The Tories stand
on the issue of the EU – firmly against membership but in a puddle of urine
as they wet themselves at the prospect of admitting it. The Tories remain
unelectable until they show the integrity and courage of their beliefs and
sweep out of the way the out dated and out moded dinosaurs of the Party like
Heath, Hesseltine, Clarke and their cronies and start to represent the
electorate and Britain, only 25 percent of whom (according to the EU’s own
survey on their own web site) wish to be members of the EU or even believe
membership has EVER benefited Britain.

Alan Duncan and Steve Thoburn were clearly seen together enjoying a 1/4
Pounder Ham Burger and if that was not Government hypocrisy enough, that
Steve is on trial for selling a Pound of bananas yet McDonalds can still
sell a 1/4 Pounder, when Court was adjourned for a late lunch the defence
and friends visited a licensed Pizzeria across the road from the Court and
dined on 12inch pizzas and pints of beer!! Yet the Government brings the
full plenopy of the law to bear on a single market trader – they must have,
wrongly, ajudged that they could bully and intimidate a single family man
more effectively than a corporation – I guess this is New Labour’s idea of
standing up for the little man and backing enterprise!

Outside the Courts there was a full blown demonstration on behalf of Britain
and opposed to membership of the EU led by Dave Stephens a butcher from
Essex who is also threatened with prosecution for having the temerity to
provide the service his customers want in opposition to the dictatorship of
the EU and their puppets in Government in Britain. Dave nearly became the
first Metric Martyr burnt at the stake when he set fire to an EU advertising
banner with those obscene Yellow Stars on, so redolent of the last time
Yellow Stars were used by Continental EUrope to identify Jews.

Dave was almost the first case of self immolation in protest on behalf of
Britain when the burning banner set fire to his foot!

Finally the days proceedings were called to a halt and Mr. John Morgan who
has presided decided to add an extra day for the hearing of evidence to
ensure that justice is seen to be done in the British Common Law tradition,
rather than the dishonest concepts of ‘justice’ laid out in Corpus Juris to
appease Brussels.

The Court will re-convene on February the 28th. & March 1st. Wednesday and
Thursday respectfully to hear final evidence and closing arguments from both
the Prosecution and the defence. Mr. Morgan will then present to the Court
his full written and reasoned judgement on April the 9th. It is clearly
believed that Mr. Morgan, a Gentleman in his mid 50s of undoubted
competence, will give a full and fair consideration to the *evidence* under
law and is not a man to seek preferment by endeavouring to seek to please a
corrupt Government; by providing them with the judgement they have already
shown they intend to try to BUY.

A couple of further quick points – Steve Thoburn & Neil Herron were, when I
spoke to them earlier, just boarding a train [brave in its own right, the
way the Government is managing transport!] at Newcastle to travel down to
Kings Cross in London to appear on a programme called ‘The Big Breakfast’.
The other point worthy of consideration was Alan Duncan’s consumption of a
1/4 Pounder since the last Tory to conspicuously be connected with a ham
burger was John Selwyn Gummer who far from eating it himself cajoled his
small daughter into conspicuous consumption!!

To be a little more serious – HOW can YOU help Steve as he courageously
conducts this fight on YOUR behalf and on behalf of the future of Britain:

PLEASE give generously to the defence fund by sending a cheque via my
address below made payable to:
Steve Thoburn Metric Martyr’s Account.

You may make the cheque payable to whichever you prefer and a written
receipt will be supplied so please make sure you include your full name and

Steve’s costs will run to over £100,000 for this case and should he have to
appeal the judgement a further £250,000 at least.

This case is central to YOUR future so please help Steve as generously as
YOU can.


Greg Lance – Watkins,
Cynulliad i Gymru [trans.: THE WELSH ASSEMBLY],
c/o Glance Back Books
[second-hand & antiquarian books, coins, stamps, medals,
post cards, bank notes, antiquarian prints & maps
+ conservation & restoration]
17  Upper Church Street,
NP16 5EX


Tel/Fax:     01291 – 62 65 62

Day 4 28/2/01(Preview)

The Continuing Saga of


Well here we go again with more Government inspired high farce. District
Judge Morgan will be presiding in The Courts of Sunderland over the trial of
Steve Thoburn for the heinous offence of selling a POUND of bananas to a
client in a British market, where the client was offered the opportunity of
buying a POUND of bananas and was happy to do so.

Hey Steve why not sell them by the DUSTBIN LID FULL, if the clients are
happy with that then you’ll sell a hell of a lot more bananas! Something,
obviously underhand in my nature, leads me to believe that the aim of the
vendor is to vend and of the buyer is to buy – I know it is not much of a
New Labour Politically Correct concept but at the end of the day TRADE is
what makes the economy go round!

Trade of course is a dirty word to New Labour they are much more interested
in showing off their leaders schoolboy French by negotiating away Britain
for a subsidy, in a language he obviously barely understands. His grasp of
French is so bad that he went all the way to Washington and told Mr.
President George W. Bush jr. a whole bunch of lies about what he had signed
and what the EU Rapid Repression Force was all about [perhaps he uses his
schoolboy French to hide his total lack of understanding of ethics,
morality, Constitutional Law and economics] either way – Bush got so fed up
listening to the toothy platitudes he put a movie on! probably because it
was more plausible than Tiny Blur! – well Steve Martin is.

Whilst the Police are out chasing motorists and arresting & incarcerating
the wrong people and man handling women in pubs and the CPS, better known as
the Criminal Protection Society, is permitting Cabinet Ministers and their
families to speed, sexually abuse their sons, assault their daughters,
sexually abuse 16 year old girls, sell drugs and attempt to derail trains
District Judge Morgan has much more important work to do in Sunderland.

The entire farming industry is in crisis and due to the lunacy of EU policy
and the Government’s supine defence of the industry they are forced, to make
ends meet, to fossik around to find the cheapest feeds available. Due to EU
policy a simple, local, containable, outbreak of Foot and Mouth disease has
spread right across Britain and into the Continent.

Never forget when Britain had an outbreak of F&M, before we were
treasonously conned by Ted Heath into the EEC/EU, which was in 1967 farmers
could sustain [allbeit painfully] the loss of trade – there was fat on the
land in Britain before 30 years of CAP and EU management of British farming
had stripped the farmers bare. Also in 1967 hauliers did not suffer so much
because the Government was not ripping them off with extortionate taxes on
fuel and there were not the contracts to haul live animals 1,000s of miles
to the nearest viable slaughter houses – no wonder F&M has spread so far so
fast, blame the EU not the farmers.

Still the full might of the law will be brought to bear to pillory Steve
Thoburn for having the temerity to actually sell a POUND of bananas!

Whilst releasing terrorists and murderers on the one hand, failing to
conclude the enquiry into the Transtec black hole so as not to upset
Geoffrey Robinson because of the pictures he has of a cabinet minister and
the sly loans made to those who are supposedly investigating him – lets not
worry about the MILLIONS lets prosecute this market trader chapie for
selling a POUND of bananas!

Paedophiles roam the streets of Britain with impunity, to judge by Lord
Cullen’s cover-up of the Dunblane killings and the cover-up in the
Waterhouse Report, so closely connected to senior politicians and senior
police that it, like the Kincorra Boys Report before it, hides the truth.
Lets hammer this sole trader trying to make an honest living – bugger the
children, literally. Labour even passed the ‘Labour Buggery of Minors Act’.

And for the prosecution: Ms. Sharpston in her own inimitable macho way will
weigh in tomorrow to waste everyone’s time with spurious legal argument as
to why it is so important to find Steve Thoburn guilty of such a heinous crime as
selling a POUND of bananas.

This is now the 5th. day of Court time wasted on
this issue with a 6th. on Thursday to go. Magistrates, Judges, Council
pointy heads, clerks, secretaries, bailiffs, police, barristers, solicitors,
security, messengers and all costing the British tax and ratepayers in Sunderland
money it could spend so much more wisely. I reckon Friday in the Court in
Sunderland will be a whole lot more interesting and informative!!

IF justice is done AND seen to be done then all of this money will have been
wasted, but I guess the odd few hundred thousand POUNDS of your money is a
mere bagatelle to a Government that can spend £800,000,000 on a temporary tent in
Greenwich and be unable to account for about £200,000,000 of it – that is
but loose change to a Government that pretends it is a good idea to GIVE
£1,800,000 an HOUR of your money to the corrupt, un-democratic, incompetent
and profligate EU.

Well you know it makes sense to give all that money to the EU which in 50
years has not managed to have a single achievement it could be proud of and
EVERYTHING it has touched has been an immensely costly unmitigated disaster.
Even Foot & Mouth has been a disaster due to the EU they have closed down
ALL Britain’s small local slaughter houses and thus the F&M has spread all
over EUrope.

How can it make sense for a double trailer, double decker TiR lorry to carry
live pigs from Scotland and Northumberland to *Portugal* for slaughter – to
be re-imported as produce of *Portugal* for sale in British super markets!!!
Well I guess, on the same logic that British chickens are taken live to
France, mixed in with live Thai chickens and then brought back to Britain
and sold as Produce of France, as long as the standards of slaughter comply
they can have a little red tractor stuck on their plucked bums to make the
British housewife think they are British.

No the Labour Government has nothing of consequence to do besides
criminalising people for using Imperial Measurements and turning rural
communities into a wilderness for PC Plod to chase and incarcerate the master
criminals of Britain – Fox Hunters. If a bit more was done to control stock
thefts and burglaries, instead of trying to comply with Politically Correct
paper work to suit the Evil Union, this might once again be a Great Britain
to live in!

In the mean time I wonder which murderer, paedophile, rapist, terrorist or
mugger they will release onto the streets to make free a cell for the master
criminal Steve Thoburn and how many grams of porridge will they try to make
him ‘do’ for his awesome crime?

All this has to be paid for!! so if you believe that Steve and every other
citizen of these United Kingdoms should have the right to sell in either
Imperial measurements or metric to suit *their* customers then please send a
cheque to me for whatever you can afford payable to:
Steve Thoburn Metric Martyr’s Account.

Do remember it was the EU Commissioner Martin Bangemann who said:
“Britain is in an anomalous position, as a full partner in the EU but
sharing a common system of weights and measures with the USA, thereby
*enjoying* an unfair competitive advantage in transatlantic trade.”

This clearly explains why Steve Thoburn is being pilloried by the British
Government for their masters in the EU. It does NOT however explain why most
members of EUroLand trade in Dollars! Freedom of choice for Continental
EUrope whilst they screw Britain?


Day 4

The farce is escalating – on Wednesday 28th. February the Courts of
Sunderland assembled for the further persecution of the master criminal
Steve Thobun who faces durance vile for the heinous crime of selling a Pound
of bananas to a client who wished to buy a Pound of bananas.

This incredibly important crime is high on the list of Government priorities
whilst the farmers of Britain have their livestock slaughtered wholesale,
whilst Two Jags PressClod charges around voyeristicly attending the latest
in a long string of rail disasters and to reduce it to the small incidents
whilst Panteg Hospital [I think it was Panteg but can check if you like,
this is indicative rather than chapter and verse BUT it DID happen] could
not supply Morphine for a small boy with a badly broken leg and had to send
to West Glamorgan for a supply to be sent by road!!

One wag apparently said ‘if someone will give me a tenner I’ll pop into the
village and get some, you can buy Morphine on any street corner; pity
schools over or I could have got some in the playground’. Such is the dire
straights of the NHS under this Government – not to mention Law and Order!

Well the master criminal arrived at Court, The Trading Standards Officers of
Sunderland arrived. From around the Country the barristers arrived,
including eminent NO not Eminem! but THE eminent QC Ms. Sharpston supported
by another barrister [ I suppose she is a bit frail! Wouldn’t a zimmer frame
be cheaper?], solicitors assembled in teams with clerks and secretaries,
Court recorders, messengers, baliffs, police, security AND the world’s

Sadly it would seem District Judge Mr. Morgan had over slept or perhaps used
a metric pencil and not understanding metric, along with most of Britain he
couldn’t read his writing in his diary.

NO JUDGE, so would everyone please push off and come back tomorrow! Well for
the prosecution, they don’t care it is only public money they are
squandering BUT don’t forget the master criminal Steve Thoburn has to pay
his own bills for having the INTEGRITY to supply his customers with the
goods THEY want in the measurements THEY want.

So the farce continues – more of that in my next CARRY ON UP THE COURTS.

Do PLEASE mail me a cheque made out to:
Steve Thoburn Metric Martyr Account
to help him fend of this dishonest and illegal EUropean Union edict which
the puppets in British Politics are persecuting him with – PLEASE help.


Day 5

Perhaps that should have been ‘High’ because yet again there has been more
High Farce in the Courts of Sunderland, but at least the District Judge Mr.
Morgan put in an appearance – though this time the master criminal Steve
Thoburn did not!! But more of that anon!

Farce though this case may seem, there is one astonishing thing about it –
it provides PROOF POSITIVE that Britain IS leaving the EUropean Union – ‘In
the detail lies ALWAYS the devil!! thus, though this may be a long message
read it with care and then tell everyone you know to prepare.

It snowed in Sunderland today and the doughty defender of our Imperial Right
to Imperial Choice of Imperial measurements Vivian Linacre of THE British
Weights and Measures Association was knee deep in snow, on his way to the
Courts – sorry I must correct that, as that is not a metric measure – do you
realise that to state that one is ‘knee’ deep is ILLEGAL! if you are to
believe our Government and the eminent Prosecution QC Ms. Sharpston, perhaps
I should clarify!

Not only does the corrupt and dictatorial Foreign and alien power in
Brussels INSIST [more of that later too] we MAY NOT use Imperial
Measurements, but even more importantly it is claimed, spuriously of course
as BRITISH JUSTICE will show [always assuming that it isn’t now a privatised
concept and sold out to the EU] that in Britain we may ONLY USE metric
measurement. Stop and think what this means if Brussels IMPOSES their laws
with the collusion of the sad puppets we call our Government – yes feet,
inches and yards GO; pints, quarts & gallons GO; pounds, ounces & tons GO;
OK are you with me so far?

Under these new foreign and totally un-democratic, un-wanted laws we may
ONLY USE metric measurements – won’t you feel a prat asking for 0.5 of a
glass of milk [always assuming this Government in its enthusiasm to IMPOSE
EU law leaves any goats or cows to milk!].

Vivian would have, this morning, found himself 500mm deep in snow – was he?
the duplicitous rogue HE WAS NOT – have trading standards arrest him
immediately – prosecute him – spend 100s of 1,000 of Pounds of public money
and waste time in Courts doing so – ‘knee’ deep in snow, and EVERYONE knew
what was meant, but foresooth I did lie when I said 500mm when I meant 0.49
of a meter I was 10cm out – Awe sod it HE WAS KNEE DEEP.

Just think how troubled Inspector ClueSo would be on a case in Tiny Blur’s
cool [crippled might be a better word] New Britania. ‘The Inspector heard a
footfall and shortly after another’ – just doesn’t sound right when you say
‘the inspector heard a total of 600mm fall’ fooled you – I wasn’t confusing
the issue, because the sentence continued ‘and about a minute later the
final foot of the icicle broke off and fell to the ground’ – ya boo!

NO you MAY NO LONGER, if the EU imposed its way as it wishes, say – a bucket
full, nor a sack of, not even a bag full – you can’t even say a bath full, a
cup full, a teaspoon full or a tank full under the EU law IT CLEARLY STATES
IT IS ILLEGAL to use ANY measurement of weight or volume OTHER THAN metric
to make a sale.

Stunning isn’t it?

Ms. Sharpston a Queen’s Councillor on behalf of the Government! is trying to
prove in Her majesty’s Courts that YOU may ONLY use metric measurements – to
comply with the laws of a FOREIGN Government! One can only ask ones self if
she is in fact the Councillor of one of the Queens in the Cabinet for I am
sure that Her Britannic Majesty would not be so crass as to try to claim
that she could no longer give her Mum a generous [illegal measure] portion
of gin to mildly fortify a dash [illegal measure] of tonic.

Are the Queens in our Cabinet mad or what – OK don’t answer – just look at
Farming, the NHS, Crime, Transport, Defence, Fishing, Police, Schools,
Political Correctness, Human Rights – need I go on?

Someone suggested the Railways should be re-Nationalised – w h a t !  for
the Government to run, you must be joking, this Government couldn’t run a

Back to the courts – Vivian put one 30cm. in front of the other and set out
from the station to the Court and as he crossed the front 91.5cms of the
Court [for civilised people that is the yard but I want to be accurate under
EU law] a large green Bentley swished to a halt with a cheery hoot of its
horn [what is a hoot in metric?] and from within stepped the eminent QC,
Barrister for the Government, Ms. Sharpston – no the chauffeur did not
sombrely sweep away, for the owner of the vehicle was driving, he was
Michael Shrimpton barrister for Steve Thoburn [come on Michael – dinner and
a donation for Derrie Irvine may well get you preferment but delivering Ms.
Sharpston QC to Court from a hotel suite is so much more Michael’s style!!!]

Court commenced and the heinous criminal was ill attired for his day before
the scaffold – for which his barrister craved the Courts indulgence, as
Steve had been up since 3am at the market, trying to keep body and soul
together whilst money drained out in £1,000s per hour on his Court costs.
When it was explained to District Judge Mr. Morgan that one of Steve’s
drivers had not come to work and thus he had not had time to go home and
shower and change he was most tolerant.

In fact Mr. Morgan was not on good ground here as you will remember he
himself forgot to turn up atall yesterday! No doubt on a quid pro quo
basis!!! Mr. Morgan was good enough to excuse Steve Thoburn for a
considerable time during the day so that, on behalf of Sunderland County
Council!!!!! he could pop round and deliver a few sacks of potatoes and many
bags of veggies and a few pounds of bananas to the old peoples homes of
Sunderland. Sunderland County Council, being fair minded folk, buy veggies
from Steve regularly, between prosecuting him!! when they are not too busy
persecuting Steve they sell his mate Neil Herron prawns by the – wait for
it – yes ……….by the hundredweight which of course in Sunderland’s
belief must be some ancient *metric* measurement – Sunderland uses divisions
of the hundredweight for weighing fish in its own market; yet it persecutes
Steve for selling a pound of bananas!!!!

All the integrity of Council pointy heads in the cool Britannia of New
Labour, on show for the world to see.

At least the Judge is showing some common sense in this farce – he is at
least permitting the master criminal in this major 7 day case in the Courts
to ‘leg it’ from the dock and trot off into the sunset to deliver a few more
pounds of bananas to the old folks of Sunderland – since Steve has a 151/2
stone [non metric – sorry – but I know what 151/2 stone looks like and I
haven’t a clue what it is in grams!] anyway since he has a 151/2 stone frame
to maintain no doubt he grabbed a 12inch pizza from the pizzeria across the
road from the courts – before heading back across the front 911/2 cms. of
the Court to take his place as the master villain on trial.

By the way Mr. Morgan, having some measured sympathy for Steve’s plight, has
excused him from attending his own trial tomorrow if he is too busy to turn

Ms. Sharpston put on a bravura performance and in a truly macho style
endeavoured to prosecute her nonsensical case – her logic was bizarre in the
extreme, but what else could she do? Her case is dishonest and a result of a
foreign power trying to rule OUR country with the Treasonous help of OUR

Sadly no press of consequence were there today – well they all turned up
yesterday but with no judge it was no fun and anyway it was cold and snowy
in Sunderland today!! The Sunderland Echo will no doubt carry the story, but
it will probably rely on the press handouts of the Sunderland Council where
I understand a journalist writing on matters Thoburn just happens to have a
wife in the press office – so we can look forward to some wonderful New
Labour/Sunderland media spin!!

Anyway for much of the morning Ms. Sharpston was forced not only to praise
the work of the defence barrister [Oh really – just for a lift in a
Bentley!!!], she extolled the virtue of his presentation, she lauded his
details of the law, she applauded his reasoned argument and she
congratulated him on his use of sequenced law [perhaps she would like to
send Derrie Irvine a cheque on Michael’s behalf and have him elevated to
silk!]. Then she went and spoilt it! She tried to liken Michael to a
magician who saws a woman in half on stage.

Watch out for the posters – Paul Daniels and Debbie replaced by the new
magic act in Sunderland:
*Michael Shrimpton Barrister at law will – before your very eyes perform
cunning stunts and miraculous magic with his willing accomplice the eminent
the lady with silk and the impish locks Ms. Eleanor Sharpston QC* –
has Sunderland got a Palladium?

Anyway her act was unconvincing – none of Michael Shrimpton’s evidence,
delivered fact after fact, precedent after precedent, quote after quote,
reference after reference had been questioned or challenged during its
delivery by either Ms. Sharpston QC or her supporting barrister or her
advising legal TEAM, NOR had it been challenged by The District Judge – draw
your own conclusions!!

The Government’s mask is slipping in their desperation to win this case. Ms.
Sharpston has legally been caught, metaphorically speaking, with her
knickers round her knees in a cold wind of fact and logic, not to mention
law and custom, which is to ignore rights and freedoms.


To view the original article CLICK HERE



Posted by: Greg Lance-Watkins
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